Plum Nuts
by polysgirl
Summary: A visit to the Batcave. Rated M for smut! oneshot.


This story has been brought to you by the letter B, for Babe, and S for Smut…and most importantly, S for STAYCE, my wonderful editor who once again helped me immeasurably in the fixing of this story. Thanks Babe!

As always, I own NOTHING! They all belong to JE, I 'm just borrowing them.

And Ranger may appear to be slightly OOC – but, well, enjoy anyhow!

**PLUM NUTS **

**An Introduction to the Batcave…**

"Tah-Daaahhhh..." I heard from behind me, as Ranger's bare arms wrapped around me. "Heeeeeeree's Carlos!" He whispered in my ear. I spun around to swat him away and he stepped back, revealing his fully naked form. And here WAS Carlos, indeed. Totally ready for Stephanie to get naked, apparently. Never mind that we'd only just gotten here and I'd barely put my suitcase down. When the hell had he had time to strip? And to grow THAT?

I raised an eyebrow and he flashed me a huge grin, before tackling me and sending us both flying to the mattress.

"Wait a minute." I shoved on his shoulder.

"It won't take me a minute to get you naked." He told me, before kissing me, his tongue probing deep into my mouth. His hands came under my shirt, and then he was flipping it over my head and getting rid of my bra all at the same time. His hands instantly traveled to my jeans, and I slapped him away, rolling across the bed.

"Geez. Would you hold on a bit? You promised I could explore."

"Babe." He looked at me like I'd grown three heads. "The Batcave will still be right here when we're finished."

I looked down. "I'm sure that will still be here when I'm done exploring." I pointed out. And really, this was the Batcave. What if he shipped me to Siberia after I saw it - I had to make sure I memorized every detail.

"We'll explore together." He suggested, flashing me a wolf grin. "Naked."

"Uhh..."

"There are a lot of places to get horizontal in my house." he added speculatively, tugging me up. He led me halfway through the bedroom, then stopped. "You're wearing too many clothes." He frowned, and had me out of my jeans and underwear in a whirlwind before resuming his path to the bedroom door.

"Uhh..." I dug in my heels. "There are WINDOWS in your house!"

Ranger grabbed his gun. "There. We're safe. I'm armed."

I looked down, eyeing his length. Yeah, no question about his being armed. "I doubt THAT gun is necessary."

"Gotta be dangerous, Babe."

As if he wasn't dangerous enough on his own. He was a danger to my heart, and apparently my sanity. I narrowed my eyes. "Who are you and what did you do with Ranger?"

"Something I ate?" He suggested, then flashed his wolf grin and swung me into his arms and over his shoulder. He carried me down the stairs like He-Man, my ass hanging in the air. He ignored all of my protests, and when I slapped him as hard as I could on the ass, all he did was growl.

"This is the kitchen." He set me down, and turned me in a circle, stopping me as we faced the table. "That's the table. Heard you have some bad associations with tables." He slid his gun across the counter, then spun me around and lifted me onto the table, before lowering his mouth to my breast and tugging my nipple between his teeth. "We should fix that." He said, moving directly down to ground zero. I gasped and arched off the table, directly into his tongue. His hands slid down my body, coming to rest on my hips, sliding under to cup my cheeks and hold me up to him. In no time I was spiraling away, over the edge.

Two orgasms later he kissed my pubic bone and traveled his way up my body to kiss me softly on the lips. My bones were reduced to jelly, and my limbs wouldn't cooperate when I tried to sit up again. Instead, Ranger's strong arms came around me, lifting me until I was sitting on the table. He was standing between my legs, cradling me against his chest. I rested my head on his shoulder, too boneless to bother holding myself up.

"Those bad associations banished, babe?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

"What bad associations?" I mumbled into his neck, then on impulse I licked his delicious skin with the tip of my tongue. What began as a chuckle turned into a groan, and he lifted me and carried me out of the room.

"Wait...We haven't..You haven't.." I protested, trying to muster up the energy to shove at him.

"Patience, little one." He whispered into my hair, squeezing me tighter against him. Soon he was laying me across yet another surface. I felt him move, and heard a flurry of sound as papers and objects hit the ground. I opened my eyes and was met with a wide, happy grin as his hands framed my hips. "I've waited a long time to christen this desk." He told me, sliding into me in a single fluid movement.

It was so sudden that I gasped, and clenched tightly around him. His expression changed to one of intent desire, and he growled low in his throat before withdrawing almost completely, and plunging back into me. My legs came around his waist and squeezed him of their own accord, and then he was clutching me to him, devouring my mouth with his, his tongue thrusting in time with his hips. In no time at all, I was soaring over the edge, clinging to him, screaming his name as he roared mine.

A good five minutes later I was still shuddering in his arms. He murmured something in Spanish in my ear, then lifted me, carrying me to the couch a few steps away from his desk. He was trembling slightly as he did, his body was as played out as mine. That gave me a distinct satisfaction. Carefully he laid us down on the couch, cuddling me close. "Christ, Babe. What you do to me." He whispered into my hair a minute later.

I think we might have dozed a bit, but either way when I was fully aware of myself again, I elbowed him gently. "Next?"

"Thought you'd never ask." He sat up, forcing me to climb to my feet or fall off the couch. Then he got up, and I was distracted by the perfect, tight ass he displayed as he came to stand in front of me, his back to my front. Before I knew what was happening he had managed to lift me up, and was carrying me piggyback out of the room.

Briefly, I wondered if he had used my reaction to his ass against me, but lost track of the thought as he set me down in the most gorgeous room. It had two leather sofas, some large book shelves, and a fireplace. One wall was taken up almost entirely by a huge bay window, overlooking a fair-sized stream. I turned around to ask Ranger if it flowed into the ocean, and caught him eyeing the book cases, his thoughts written quite clearly across certain lower parts of his anatomy.

"Uh uh. No way." I said. "Nope. Not happening." Not this girl, in this lifetime.

"I've always had a thing for literate women." He told me as he moved behind me, then tried to push me towards the bookshelves. I dug in my heels hard, twisted out of his grasp, and spun to face him.

"Yeah, well, there is no comfortable way to make THAT work, so no." I shook my head. I mean, I suppose there was... but I don't do butt stuff, and he knows that. And yeah, in my opinion, doggy style counts.

"Babe." He gave me what could only be described as a pouty glare. "You have no sense of fun."

Funny, I thought. The Ranger I knew had no concept of the word 'Fun.' Well, unless it involved shooting the shit out of imaginary targets.

"This is target practice too." He whispered playfully in my ear, pressing seductively against me. "Just with a different gun."

"Well if you want to do THAT, that way, you can find a different target." I huffed.

"The only target this gun is interested in is a blue-eyed brunette named Stephanie." He informed me.

I gaped at him. "You can't be serious."

"One hundred and Ten Percent." He said, maneuvering me towards the bookshelves and pressing up behind me.

"Ranger...No... Really. Please?" I really, really wasn't comfortable with this idea.

"Do you trust me?" He asked quietly, then nipped the back of my neck. I sucked in a gasp.

"Yes...but... please?" It didn't change my own issues with the idea. They came from that one time with Dickie...I shuddered; I didn't even want to think about it.

"You know, if you've got bad associations, we could cure those today too."

"I'll make you a deal." I blurted, before I could think. All I cared about was not having to deal with this particular issue now. I turned and faced Ranger. "Bring me to the Batcave again, and we can..." I trailed off.

"Batcave is forever, Babe. I'm holding you to that." Oh boy. Ok. Well, I can handle that. Ranger's eyes scanned the room, his brow slightly furrowed. He locked onto the big bay window and a wolf grin slowly spread across his face. I was starting to think I'd like this idea even less than the bookshelves. Ranger tugged me along with him as he strode to the window. There was a two-foot ledge along it, which was utterly empty save for three pictures of me. He quickly moved them aside, placing them out of harm's way on the floor, then slid onto the ledge, reclining against the one wall until he was laying nearly flat, and pulled me on top of him.

"Wait a minute. What if someone sees? We're in plain, freaking sight!" I squealed, and tried to climb off. Ranger's hands anchored me against him, and he shook his head.

"Might as well give them a show." he suggested, glancing out the window. "A lotta poison ivy in that bush." Hm... Maybe they'd stay away, then.

He shifted me so that I was straddling him, facing him, then he thrust upwards and tried to enter me. I squirmed away and grinned as he scowled at me. "Ah ah ah." I teased, shaking one finger at him. "You just gave me the driver's seat." If he wasn't going to play nice, neither was I.

"I did not." He narrowed his eyes.

"Looks like you did, Batman." I gave him a sweet smile, then squirmed down his body, teasing him. I shot him a grin and ran my teeth over his nipple. His body jerked and he hissed out a breath.

"If I'm Batman," he started, then paused and sucked in another breath as I laved his nipple one more time, then began working my way down his perfect stomach, "then you must be Catwoman." His fingers fisted in my hair and he tried to pull me up again, but I just paused, untangle his hand, and looked up at him with what I hoped was a raised eyebrow.

"Pretty sure cats kill bats." I told him, then moved further down.

"Only if they can catch them!" He said on a groan that turned into a primitive growl as I took him in my mouth. His hips thrust slightly upwards despite his obvious effort to control it, and his hands came back to my hair again in attempt to tug me up his body. I resisted his demands, raking his balls with my nails. He hissed again and his fingers tightened in my hair, although it seemed like he didn't have the strength to keep urging me back where HE wanted me.

Finally I took pity on him... or more on myself, since I was desperate to feel him inside me again. I slithered back up his body until I could lower myself onto him...and then I did - as slowly as I could, driving both of us wild. My own control was nowhere near as good as Ranger's, though, and it took about half a second for me to have him fully embedded inside of me. One of his hands pressed on my hip, stilling my ability to move upwards again. My walls clenched around him as his other hand cupped the back of my neck, then pressed me forward until his lips could meet mine. Our tongues met, hot and heavy and he rolled his hips against mine.

That was all it took to shatter my control, and I lost all conscious thought. By the time I came back into any semblance of awareness, I was collapsed against Ranger, cheek to cheek, our hearts beating erratically against each other.

"What are the chances anyone was out there?" I questioned, my breaths still coming in pants. I had to admit I was a bit worried. Mostly because I doubted Ranger was any more aware of his surroundings than I was.

"If there was, they'll be damned uncomfortable for at least a week. Trust me, Babe, my place isn't easy to see or get to, from any angle." Except, of course, the gated drive that required a passkey. That was the end of conversation for a while, until we both had recovered sufficiently. Then, Ranger carefully lifted me off of him, and stood himself.

"One more room." He grinned at me, his blank face totally absent. Instead, he emanated glee and anticipation.

"Uh oh."

"You're gonna like this one the best, Babe." He whispered in my ear, then tugged on a curl and led me out of the room, his arm firmly around my waist. He led me into the bedroom, paused long enough to glance at the bed, then tugged me through the door joining into the bathroom.

It was a large bathroom, and gorgeous. A corner shower that I assumed had the same multi-head spray system as his shower in the apartment, a simple toilet and small sink... none of which took up much space at all in the large room. And in the floor was a large jacuzzi, with reclining benches and padded headrests, and more jets than I could fathom. Ranger chuckled as my eyes widened.

"Yeah." He said hoarsely. "You in that tub..." He trailed off, and I watched as his body betrayed his obvious thoughts on that subject. "Babe." His voice was strained, as he moved to run the water. "It'll take a few to fill." He added. He finished adjusting the temperature, then stood upright again and stepped into me, pressing our bodies flush together.

"The reality is already so much better than the fantasy." He admitted in my ear, before tugging my earlobe between his teeth.

"Wait a minute." I shoved backwards, then looked up at him. "You fantasized about me? In...In...In that tub?" I squeaked, and pointed at the tub.

"Oh yeah." His lips curved up into a smile, as his eyes took on a faraway expression. "And on my desk. -"

"Let me guess." I cut him off with a sharp shake of my head. "The table, bookshelves, and window ledge too?"

"And my bed." He stepped into me again, and gazed deep into my eyes. "My woman. In my house. In my bed. In my tub. You have no idea..." He said softly, trailing a fingertip down my cheek. I turned my head slightly and kissed the pad of his finger.

"Your woman?" I asked trying to step back. He tightened one arm around me, preventing my escape, and I felt him grow harder against me. I hadn't thought that was possible.

"I'm yours." He said simply. "And you're mine. Even if before, it was only fantasy." Then, before I could ponder the meaning behind that statement, he flashed me ANOTHER wolf grin. "And it was a damned good fantasy, too." I reached out to smack him but he ducked out of the way on a bark of laughter, and bent to check the tub. He stepped to the side and pressed three buttons and all of the jets started up.

Next thing I knew he was lifting me up, carrying me, stepping down into the tub, and placing me ever so gently on one of the reclining benches. With a tenderness I'd never equated with him, he settled my head into the headrest. The warm water was heavenly, the jets hitting my muscles and massaging instantly. I couldn't help but moan. Ranger's eyes darkened and he turned the running water off before moving over beside me.

His hand skimmed down my body, over my breasts and hips. Then he bent and kissed the sensitive hollow at the base of my throat, nipping it gently with his teeth before moving up, and claiming my lips in a kiss unlike any we'd shared before. It was soft and gentle, almost hesitant. He moved away from my lips to feather kisses across my face, and I closed my eyes, content to lay limp in the water. The jets were pulsating against my skin, and when coupled with Ranger's attentive mouth, were creating a highly erotic charge, sensitizing my skin until I was trembling with need.

I couldn't imagine anything better, but when Ranger finally moved over me, settling between my thighs and slowly sliding into me, I realized that it really was only just the beginning. His hands were tangled in my hair, framing my face, and his gaze was riveted on mine. The warm water, jets, and Ranger's slick, hot body had me so worked up that two agonizingly slow strokes later, I was teetering over the edge.

"Ranger!" I gasped. He stopped moving and shook his head.

"No." He said harshly. "There's no Ranger here. Carlos."

"Carlos." I agreed, shifting, trying to get him to move, needing him to move.

"Say it again." He said, as she slowly pushed into me again.

"Carlos." He withdrew.

"Again." He demanded, sliding home once more.

"Carlos!" I cried, clinging to him, as another orgasm overtook me. He continued to move slowly until I was aware of us again, then his thrusts quickened, building the heat again, until finally we both came together, holding tightly to one another, Ranger's face pressed into my hair, mine against his. I was only dimly aware of the tears tracking down my cheeks.

We stayed in that position for a long while, until the water was cooling. Ranger helped me out of the tub and into a towel, before shutting off the jets and draining the tub. He scooped me up and I buried my head in his shoulder as he carried me into the bedroom. We fell into bed, sated and exhausted. Ranger instantly tucked me tightly against him. "What's all this about, anyhow." I asked drowsily, cuddling into his chest.

"Just needed a bit of downtime, Babe." He said softly. The playful mood was gone, but it was still a happy, relaxed mood. "Sometimes it's nice to relax and cut loose. I haven't done it in years."

"Years?"

"I was probably about eight." He admitted. I pressed a kiss to his chest. I couldn't imagine living every day in the tightly controlled world Ranger had created for himself. Well, that is, I could imagine living every day with him, but I couldn't imagine living it as him.

"Besides." He whispered "I have something to celebrate." I propped myself up on his chest and looked at him, and waited. "I'm a free man." He said with a soft smile. "My government contract is up, and Rangeman is free and clear."

"So..." I wondered if that meant his life would lend itself to a relationship now, but was scared to ask. He'd been in my bed for a month, which was about a month less than Morelli had been out of it, but we'd never broached the possibility of a relationship. As always, Ranger read my mind.

"I'll still carry two guns and a knife, Babe. But..."

I watched as something that really reminded me of vulnerability flashed in his eyes. That couldn't be right, though. Ranger was never vulnerable. "But?" I prodded.

"But I want you." he admitted, gently touching my cheek. "And I'm tired of denying myself. It won't be easy..."

"Nothing worth it ever is." I kissed him softly before cuddling down under his chin again. His arms tightened around me.

"Love you." I heard myself murmur as I started to drift off.

"Love you too, Babe." He whispered. My last conscious thought was that there had been no qualifiers.


End file.
